me: “yeah I dated a guy in high school who came out as gay. it was before i knew i was a boy so needless to say it didn’t work out”
coworker: “damn dude was preordering”
other things this coworker (who is a cis guy) has done/said:
—got confused about why I’d never been a boy scout because he forgot i was trans
—told me he was gonna get top surgery scar tattoos to match me after i get mine
—laughs at all my trans jokes, even if they’re supremely unfunny
—calls me big dog (and him little dog) even though he is about as tall as two of me
— “I can’t believe she would say that transphobic thing to you. In June? Pride month?”
wait how could i forget!!!
—heard i was trans when i started working there but thought i was trans in the other direction so got offended on my behalf when he heard people calling me “he/him”
nothing I can say on this blog will be funnier than the things that come from this boy’s brain
job hunting is a cthonic torment that never quite took off in the bowels of hell, luckily anguish speculators are always buying up cheap excess and dumb questions are easy to package into bonds that massively balloon their value. before the turn of the millennium “how many years of cheese experience do you have” would be a practically worthless question, but in the dystopian future of the dissolving present, providing the right answer (or a believable lie) may be the difference between meager sustenance and dying in the death rays our energy companies charge you to avoid.
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